I Look Pregnant But It’s Just a Carrot.

Cool.

Midlife plot twist: I ate a salad and now look six months pregnant. Not even a sexy “glow” kind of pregnant—just bloated, gassy, and cursing the kale that betrayed me.

What was the culprit this time? A raw carrot.
A single, innocent, crunchy carrot.

Apparently, that’s all it takes these days. My body used to be a temple. Now it’s more like a retired amusem…