I Scheduled Sex - Got a Migraine.
Then Did It Anyway.
We had it on the calendar.
Friday night. 8 PM. After dinner. No phones. No excuses.
I’d been talking a big game all week—trying to get back into the rhythm of intimacy after what felt like a month of “maybe tomorrow.”
I shaved my legs. Lit the candles. Even wore the fancy underwear that’s 90% lace and 10% circulation.
And then at 6:37 PM…
Boom. Migraine.
Not a mild one.
Not one I could breathe through or distract myself from.
One of those “hide in the dark, don’t even think about touching me” headaches that hijack your entire nervous system.
Old me would’ve canceled.
No guilt, no second thought. I mean—who has sex with a migraine?
But this time, something inside me whispered, What if connection helps you feel better—not worse?
So I didn’t cancel.
I didn’t power through, either.
I shifted.
We ditched the expectations.
I took a hot shower with lavender oil. He rubbed my shoulders. We kissed. Slowly.
Clothes stayed mostly on.
There were no fireworks—just warmth. Breath. Presence.
And then… we had sex.
Not wild. Not athletic. Not the stuff of romance novels.
But deeply, undeniably healing.
My head still ached, but my body softened.
The pressure didn’t vanish, but the loneliness did.
Scheduling sex doesn’t always work.
Neither does spontaneity when you’re juggling hormones, exhaustion, resentment, or migraines.
But showing up—in whatever way you can—that creates magic.
Even when your brain is yelling “abort mission,” sometimes your body just needs to feel connected, seen, and safe.
💌 This is what we talk about every week inside my newsletter for women rediscovering intimacy, desire, and the messiness of midlife connection.
Real talk. No pressure. Some swearing. A little science.
And always—you at the center.
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You deserve pleasure that works for you.