Last night, I almost spiraled into my usual routine: scroll the news, scroll social media, scroll until I’m drained and tense. But instead, I slipped into the shower, turned the water hot, and let the steam wrap around me.
Within minutes, something shifted. My chest loosened. My jaw unclenched. I caught myself humming.
Here’s why: stress literally shuts down desire. Cortisol floods the system, rerouting energy away from reproduction. Blood flow moves to survival muscles, not arousal zones. Pleasure hormones like oxytocin and dopamine get suppressed. And your brain? It’s too busy running worst-case scenarios to daydream about intimacy.
That’s why little resets matter. Sometimes I do a shower. Sometimes I do a “progressive release” ritual—tensing and letting go of different muscles one by one. My jaw, my shoulders, even my thighs. Each release signals to my nervous system: you’re safe now. And when my body feels safe, desire has a chance to come back.
Stress doesn’t just kill the mood—it steals your ability to feel safe enough to want. But small choices can flip the script. A shower. A release ritual. Even five minutes of softness.
Sometimes the sexiest thing you can do for yourself isn’t lingerie or a glass of wine—it’s teaching your body to let go.