Midlife Is Crying in the Car

Over the Wrong Salad Dressing

Look, I didn’t wake up today thinking I’d have an emotional breakdown in the Aldi parking lot, but here we are.

It started with a craving for that zesty goddess dressing—you know the one. Creamy, tangy, green as hell, and apparently unavailable everywhere unless you're a sorceress with Whole Foods Prime. I grabbed the wrong one. Got home. Poured it on my…